Big Smoke

'cause it's hard to see from where I'm standin'

Brooklyn Public Education

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The Good: After school tutoring. Students going nuts to work off all that junk food they’ve been munching on all day. Take a novelty hand grenade from my bag, “Catch.” Girl: “I caught it! I caught it! …Oh!”

The Bad: Thug-in-training, been wandering the halls for half an hour, ducks into a classroom. He’s stopped by a school aide as he wanders back out.

Aide: “Hey, c’mere.”
Thug: “I’m here. [Pause] What? Aren’t you supposed to be talkin’ while I pretend to listen?”
Aide: “Did that teacher even bother to say anything when you walked into his class?”
Thug: “No. He can try.”

Thug-in-training wanders off. Aide shrugs.

The Ugly: On the street, two girls from a different high school.

Girl 1: “Hey, can I get your numba?”
Girl 2: “That’s a teacha, nigga!”
Girl 1: “Oh. Can I get your numba?”*

* The Uglier: I told this to a friend, who then had to be explained why it would be a moral, ethical and professional wrongness to do anything but ignore such an entreaty.

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