At a certain point of Not Ever Cutting Your Hair, the very idea of cutting your hair practically requires a traumatic moment to justify. I’ve had plenty of those, but none so recently that statutes of limitations wouldn’t get ahold of them. So beyond deeply personal reasons (and shallowly altruistic reasons; I’m looking at you, Locks of Love, and all the people who suggested you so far) there have to be some bona fide aesthetic reasons to do so.
In other random musings, I get to decide whether my job qualifies me as the most likely to get laid off because I’m the least important totem on my union’s pole, or the least likely to get laid off because computer gurus generate their own Golden Handcuffs.